The Love Garden
by Satan's Advocate
Summary: They should really make penalties for misusing phones. Gohan's hormones should really have an off button switch. Vegeta should never talk about the ways of mating to teenagers! Chi Chi shouldn't be allergic to Advil, and Videl..Oh boy...
1. Default Chapter

Guys, this is a one-shot, I just came up with while itching a bug bite. By the way, How the HELL did a bug bite me in the middle of the friggin' winter? Oh well, one will never know. :Mutters: Damn mosquitoes.  
  
Disclaimer: I would like to announce that everything having to do with anime belongs to me.(hey that rhymes!) :Clears throat: and anyone I mean anyone better not take it away from me.  
  
Enter pink suited men in sunglasses.  
  
Me: Who the heck are you?  
  
Men: We are the Anime police, you are now under a very BIG lawsuite crime.  
  
Me: Oh yeah? Well kiss my Gohan! Erm, no I want Gohan! Kiss my...Syaoran! No I want him to....Ok, kiss my Kero! yeah you can have Kero.  
  
Kero: HEY!  
  
Men: No, we must have them all back. (Takes out very LARGE lawsuit contract,)  
  
Me: You don't scare me you pink suited fagits!MWAHAHAHHA.  
  
Men:(Begins to sign paper.)  
  
Me: Oh, shit! Umm, ok how about you get Everything and I keep dragonball Z and CCS?  
  
Men: (Still signing paper.)  
  
Me:(Begins to cry) OK, FINE KEEP YOUR GOD FORSAKEN ANIME PEOPLE!  
  
Men: (Close document and disapear.)  
  
Me: :Snickers: suckers did they really think I was going to give them th-  
  
Men: (Appear again with lawsuite)  
  
Me: :Sweatdrops: Who said that it sure wasn't me!  
  
Men:(Leave again.)  
  
Me: Ok well, on with the story, :Still crying:  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Goten was very VERY bored, his big brother was in school, and his mom was....He didn't know, doing something.  
  
Suddenly an idea entered Goten's itty-bitty-teeny-weenie-tiny-winnie-(Well you get the drift) brain. Smirking Goten rubbed his little hands together. It was time for: OPPERATION STEAL THE PHONE!  
  
Crawling on his hand and knees, stealthly moving as only a saiyin can do, he moved into the kitchen. Who did he find there sitting at the table phone next to her, lazily sipping coffee then his good old, mamma.  
  
Chi Chi glanced up from the magazine she was reading, and upon seeing Goten on the floor, got a suspicious look in her eye, she took the phone carefully and put it in her lap. "And just what might you be doing on the floor Son Goten?" She asked sipping her coffee. Oops I am sooooooo busted! "Umm....I...uh...you see... uh...There was this bug on the floor and I was following it!" Goten smiled at his great lie. Chi Chi stood up shrieking.Phone falling on the floor forgotten. "A BUG IN MY HOUSE?! SON GOTEN YOU BETTER BE JOKING OR I WILL GET OUT THE FRYING PAN!" Goten sweatdropped, "Mom, I was kidding, please don't hurt me." Chi Chi sighed dumping her coffee in the sink, "Goten you just about gave me a heart attack, I'm going to hang up the landry come and get me if you need anything." Chi Chi left, and Goten was glad he never added the fact that he had seen a lot of bugs in the house almost everyday. (Of course thats because he brought them in!) He looked under the table and grinned his famouse son grin, Chi Chi and forgotten the phone.  
  
Grabbing it quickly he made for the front door, (Since Chi Chi was out back.) And ran to the lake. Dialing a common number he waited.  
  
"This better be good."  
  
Goten gulped, it was Vegeta.(Boy his day just keeps getting worse!)  
  
"Well speak infidel."  
  
"Uh...Hi?"  
  
"Who is this, state your name and buisness for calling this number."  
  
Goten went dot eyed. "I need to speak to Trunks."  
  
"Is this Kakoorat's brat?"  
  
"I'M NOT A BRAT!"  
  
"Why do you wish to speak my brat, brat?"  
  
"Uh...Cause I'm bored."  
  
"You can not use my brat as a ENTERTAINMENT YOU INFIDEL!" Vegeta shouted.  
  
"Vegeta who are you talking to?" Goten heard Bulma's voice in the backround.  
  
"None of your concern onna. Just Kakoorat's brat."  
  
"Gohan?" "No the other."  
  
"What does he want?"  
  
"To speak to my brat."  
  
"THEN WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT HIM GET TRUNKS YOU IDIOT!" "DON'T YOU CALL MY AN IDIOT YOU BAKA ONNA I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYINS! I COULD KILL YOU IN ONE-" :BLANG,BLANG: "SHIT!"  
  
Goten blinked, kill her in one...Shit?  
  
:CLUNK: "YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"  
  
"FINE, fine, damn onna."  
  
:BANG: "WATCH YOUR MOUTH VEGETA!"  
  
"FINE!"  
  
Goten head footsteps walking away. "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR GOING?!"  
  
"TO GET THE BRAT ONNA, NOW STOP YOU INNOYING SCREETCHING BEFORE I CUT OUT YOU DAMN VOICE BOX!"  
  
:BLANG:  
  
"WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH VEGETA!"  
  
Goten heard the phone being picked up. "Hello Goten dear, how have you been?" The soft voice of Bulma Breifs went to Goten's ear. Goten sweatdropped, "Uhh, fine thankyou miss.Bulma."  
  
"No problem sweetie, here's Trunks."  
  
"Hey Goten whats up?" The voice of Trunks now filled his ear.  
  
"Uhh, Trunks no offence but your parents freak me out."  
  
"Yeah, I know, sometimes they kinda scare me too. So why did you call Goten."  
  
"... I'm bored."  
  
"Well lets go do something." Trunks' face lit up. He smiled evily,  
  
"What?"  
  
"Wellllll....Gohan isn't out of school for another few hours right?"  
  
Goten paused...."Yeah...So?"  
  
"Well, why don't we go to the school...And see Gohan's girlfriend...You said she came over, but I never got to see her." (A/N This is right after 'Videl Takes flight' guys so Goku's not alive.)  
  
Goten smirked, a smirk that Vegeta would be proud of. "YEAH....And we can videocord it all!"  
  
"It's videotape Goten, and yeah that's a good idea."  
  
"....There's a little problem Trunks."  
  
"Huh? Oh,what?"  
  
Goten went dot eyed. "MY MOM!"  
  
"Oh NOOOOO, your right,ugh,Goten no offense but you mom is kinda onnoying."  
  
"Not as onnoying as your mom."  
  
"yes she is."  
  
"No she isn't!"  
  
"Yes she is."  
  
"No she isn't!"  
  
"IS TO!"  
  
"IS NOT!"  
  
"IS TO!"  
  
"IS not is not is not is not is not is not is not is not! IS NOT!"  
  
"IS TO ANFINITY!! HAHAH Beat that Goten!"  
  
"IS NOT, AGOOGLE AND FORTY GAZILLION TIMES OVER THAT!"  
  
"Uhh...Goten?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"....What are we fighting over?"  
  
"Uh....I don't know..."  
  
"Well go ask your mom if you can come over to my house."  
  
"OK! Hold on!" Goten raced around the back of the house phone in hand.  
  
"MOMMOMMOMMOMMOMMOMMOMMOM!" Chi Chi jumped a mile in the air and shrieked! "SON GOTEN DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!" Goten heard a faint 'more annoying than my mom' from the phone but ignored it. "Hehe, sorry mommy, can I got to Trunks' hous PLEASE?!" Chi Chi's eyes narrowed. "How did you get that phone Goten?" "You left in on the floor. PLEASE CAN I GO?" Goten gave her puppy dog eyes. Chi Chi was unfazed, "What are you going to do there?" "Spy on Gohan-Oops!" Goten covered his mouth. "IDIOT, BAKA WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM GOTEN?!" He heard Trunks yell. Chi Chi however smiled. "Awwwwww,grandchildren! tell me how Videl is when you see her and tape it dear!" Goten smiled "SURE MOM!" He ran to the front of the house. "YOU BE CAREFUL SON GOTEN!" He heard his mom's voice carry around the house.  
  
"You still there Trunks?"  
  
"You are the BIGGEST idiot I know Goten, and trust me I know a few, theres, Yamcha, Krillin, Master Roshi, that pig thing-"  
  
"Uhh, Trunks? I can go."  
  
"Huh? Oh yeah, hey Goten?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"YOUR A BAKA!"  
  
After the ringing died down in Goten's head he was steamed. How dare Trunks call him a baka, that baka."Hey!!!! no I'm no-" The dial tone blared and Goten glared throwing the phone behind him. "YOU ARE SO DEAD TRUNKS BREIFS!" He shot into the air.  
  
::Meanwhile::  
  
"Grandchildren,grandchildren, laaalaaa....Ohh, Grandchildren! My little Gohan is going to have little children! I CAN'T WAI-OWWWWWW" Chi Chi glared down at the object that had so rudely interuppted her insane conversation to herself. It was the phone. She picked it up and saw that it wasn't even turned off. Steam comming out of her ears she put it in the empty laundry basket. "When that kid comes home, he better hide with his hands over his head....And butt, because my fryingpan just got polished, and I'm itching to use it!" She cackled and ran into the house, getting out the kitchen cleaning wax.  
  
::Back to Goten::  
  
"Grrrr...that Baka how dare he call me a baka, he's the biggest baka in this stupid baka world." He paused, then exploded. "I AM NOT MORE OF A BAKA THEN MASTER ROSHI!"  
  
Some residents of Satan city looked up at the noise and saw a rather large bird who seemed to be talking to itself. Noticing this Goten blushed red and flew faster the rest of the way to Capsule Corporation.  
  
::Knock, Knock::  
  
The door opened....Oh shitaki mushrooms...Goten looked up at the being at the doorframe.  
  
"Eeeep.."  
  
"Is that all you have to say?" Vegeta smirked, "Your a pretty pathetic saiyin, shrimp but what can I say your thirdclass."  
  
Goten turned red, he had just about enough of getting insulted. "Yeah I'm thirdclass so what? Atleast I have a heart, and feelings that I don't hide behind a stupid smirk all the time."  
  
Vegeta was about to blow the damn kid into the next demension when he saw a blur run past him into the house, growling he shut the door, someday that kid's day would come.  
  
Goten ran into the house looking for Trunks, he found him in the kitchen drinking some milk.(A/N Don't ask..) "There you are you traitor." Trunks looked up "Huh?" "You have a lot of n-" Goten got a good look at Trunks' face and started to laugh. Trunks frowned. "What is so funny?" "Yo..you ha.....AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA." Tears were forming in Goten's eyes. Trunks growled. "WHAT DO I HAVE?" Goten stopped laughing for a second "YoulooklikeHerculewiththatfunnywhitemustachyouhaveonyourface!" Then he was taken over by giggles again. Trunks turned bright red as he looked at a mirror on the far side of the kitchen.(A/N a mirror in the kitchen, hey guys this is Bulma's house remember? Vegeta's to come to think of it..) "Shut it Goten." He muttered as he rubbed off the milk mustach he had gotten. "Let's go before the school closes." Goten hiccuped, "Yeah :Hick: Uhh, don't we need a videocorder?" Trunks rolled his eyes. "VideoREcorder, and Goten I have one." Trunks held up a video camera in his left hand. "Let's go." Goten blinked. "Trunks? TRUNKS?" "Come ON Goten we haven't got all day ya know." Trunks stuck his head back into the kitchen. "Race ya." And with that he flew out of the house. "Hey no fair you had a head start!" Goten raced after Trunks,"  
  
  
  
::At the School.::  
  
"Hey TRUNKS, IT's NO FAIR YOU HAD A HEAD START FLYING!" Goten whined about the race, which he had lost. Some teenagers turned their heads in their direction. "Shut UP Goten..." Hissed Trunks as he turned on the video camera. "Hey Trunks where do ya think my brother is?" "I don't know,lets ask somebody." They walked into the school, camera in Trunks' right hand now, and up to some blonde girl. "Excuse me girl." Trunks said. The girl looked down and smiled. "Ohhh, you are soooooooooooo cute!" Her eyes turned to Goten. "And you to. Though you look like someone I know." Trunks cleared his throat. "Do you know where Son Gohan is." The girl smiled, "Sure do, he is in my next class." She bent down to Trunks' and Goten's height. "Say whats you guys' names?" "That's Trunks and I'm Goten." Goten said pointing to himself. "Those names are cute, I'm Erasa, Gohan is a friend of mine." Trunks smiled evily. "Are YOU Gohan's girlfriend?" Erasa giggled. "I wish, no I'm not, that would be Videl your talking about, she's in my class too." She glanced at the camera which as on. "You aren't gonna spy on them are you?" "NO!" "YES!" Trunks glared at Goten who had let it slip as usual. Erasa smiled. "COOL, Let's go before the other student's arrive and you can hide under the desk!" She dragged the two saiyin's (Litarly) To her class room and through them under the desk. "Owwwww." was heard from them both. "Shuush here they come." Trunks leveled the camera peaking out over the desk, while Goten nursed his owies.  
  
::Through the lense::  
  
Gohan had just entered the class room, with a smiling Videl not far behind. Sitting down Gohan sighed."What's up guys?" Erasa asked as Videl sat next to Gohan. "Nothin' the ususal." "Hey Gohan?" "Uh? Yeah?" Gohan looked at Erasa. "I was just wondering when your going to make your move." Gohan blinked. "M...Move?" "Yeah," Erasa winked. "On that SPECIAL GIRL we ALL know you like." Gohan turned bright red, and Trunks snickered softly. "UHh, well..uh....you see...." He stuttered. Videl looked at Gohan and smirked. "YOU like a GIRL?" Gohan meekly nodded. "Who is it?" He looked up in surprise. "If Erasa knows it must be pretty obvious." He said looking at her. "WELL I DON'T KNOW SO CARE TO FILL ME IN!?" Trunks had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. "Psst, hey Trunks let me see." Sighing Trunks handed the camera over.  
  
"Uhh, well ya see it's li-" The bell rang and Gohan sighed. Videl glared, and Erasa giggled. Sharpener ran in late as usual. "Hey Videl babe, what's up?" Videl growled and shoved his arm off her, Gohan even looked a little pissed. Sharpener frowned and looked toward Erasa. His eyes got REALLY BIG, "Hey...uh, Erasa, don't get mad at me, but I was looking at your legs and I couldn't help but notice that THERE ARE TWO KIDS UNDER THE DESK!" Goten and Trunks both hit their heads on the roof of the table, another simultainious 'owww.' could be heard. Gohan's eyes narrowed at the figures. "Trunks? Goten? What are you doing here?" Trunks gulped and quickly snatched the camera from Goten putting it in it's capsule and into his pocket in a blink of an eye. Videl frowned "Goten's here?" Then she saw the little boy, and frowned. "I'm waiting." "Uhhh....we were uhhh.." Shit, we are soooo dead. Trunks stuttered. "We Came Here To Spy On You And Videl!" Goten said happily. Trunks' eye twitched "YOU IDIOT, BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA IIIIIIIDDDDDIIIIIOOOOOTT THATS THE LAST TIME I TAKE YOU ANYWHERE YOU BAKA!" Gohan turned red while Goten sniffled, Videl just looked confused.Gohan then frowned "You are soooo dead Goten." Trunks smirked, and Gohan caught it. "You are to Trunks so don't even try playing innocent, where's the camera?" "What camera?" "Trunks has it." Trunks glared at Goten, that boy was sooooooo dead.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
UGH...Finally it's over, do you have any idea how tired of typing I am? I know I'm the biggest whiner on this side of the planet, hell maybe even the whole planet, but hey atleast I admit it. So R/R and you never know maybe there will be a sequel, check out my other stories to!  
  
Ja ne!  
  
~Jaina. 


	2. Gohan and Videl enter FLE

Hey guys since you all loved the first chapter of Operaton steel the phone, I decided to do a second chapter this time staring Gohan and Videl! Sure this has romance, but have you ever wondered even a little bit what would happen if you put our favorite couple along with Erasa, Sharpener, and two special guest stars in Family Life Education.(FLE) ALL HELL WOULD BRAKE LOOSE! And poor Gohan will probably pee his pants!(Hey thats not a bad idea) Any who, lets move on.......  
  
Disclaimer: I own it yes I do I own it pooo on you!  
  
:Enter purple suited men.:  
  
Me: :Snorts: I see the color of the day is purple eh?  
  
Men: You have violated the rules, you are in for a major lawsuite  
  
Me: (Deju vu anyone) Yeah right, like you can.....GOHAN'S MINE!!!!!!!!!!AND YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEE.  
  
Men: :Starts signing paper:  
  
Me: I WILL NOT GIVE IN.....:Sticks out tounge:  
  
Men: Keeps signing.  
  
Me: Your not really signing are you?  
  
Men: :Rolls up scroll: It is done. :They leave:  
  
Me:......Where did they go? WAIT COME BACK I WAS KIDDING.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH SEE I WAS KIDDING.  
  
Men: :Come back: and burn up scroll :They leave:  
  
Me: Geeze, damn purple fagits.......I HATE YOU......... :Clears throat: any who, on with the story..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gohan and Videl get tortured in FLE. `````````````````  
  
"Students please settle down.." The teacher asked the students of Orange Star High When the bickering never stopped the teacher turned red, "SHUT UP NOW!" A deadly silence filled the room as all the students turned dot-eyed. The teacher smoothed out her skirt and smiled. "Thats better now, today I have a surprise for you guys," Gohan laid his head on one hand. "A surprise?" Erasa looked over, "It's probably extra homework." Gohan blinked, "Extra homework, Cool!!!" Videl sweatdropped. "Gohan" "Hmmm?" "Shutup."  
  
"Today we are going to have two guests come in and talk about sex with us!" Sharpener almost had a heart attack, "Did she just say what I thought she said?" Erasa's eyes were big. "If you think she said we are going to learn about sex, then yeah.......I guess she did." Meanwhile Gohan almost choked on his own tounge, Sex Ed, what the hell was that?! He didn't need to know that....He glanced at Videl who was rolling her eyes, yet.....  
  
"CLASS PLEASE SETTLE DOWN" There was another dead silence. "Thankyou, now the teacher or teachers who will be teaching you today are none other than.......Our very own Bulma Breifs, and her yummy hubby Vegeta!" This time Gohan did choke on his tounge VEGETA TEACHING SEX ED CLASS?! Videl blinked and bursted out laughing, and Erasa and Sharpener's eyes turned saucer wide.  
  
Bulma breifs walked in followed by a very pissed off Vegeta. "Hello Class, I'm Bulma Breifs-" "We know who you are babe." a guy in the third row proclaimed, winking at Bulma. Gohan sweat dropped hooo he shouldn't have done that..... Vegeta's eye twitched, Bulma smirked. "Oh? I didn't know I was that popular did you Vegeta?" Vegeta growled. "Noo.." He gritted his teeth, Bulma said he better behave or she'd get out the frying pan. Still he wanted Sooooo bad to blow this damn kid's fucking head to ablivion and beyond. "Anyway me and my husband are here to talk to you about sex. Can anyone tell me what sex is?" Bulma gazed around the classroom and smiled. "GOHAN! I didn't know you were in this class!" Vegeta's eyes narrowed, he had been so pissed he hadn't even noticed Kakarot's brat's ki. Boy was he pissed.....Gohan smiled shakily."H..Hi Bulma." Please don't ask....PLEASE don't ask. "So why don't you tell us what sex is Gohan." Bulma winked at Videl who had gone rather red. "Uhh....i...uh....It's when you..uh....show how much you care for someone by....Doing STUFF." Videl snickered, and Gohan shot her a glare.  
  
Bulma smiled. "VERY good," She turned to her hubby. "Vegeta care to add to that?" Vegeta's eyes got wide, then he smirked. "It's when they ingage in sexual activities that turn the females on and then the female's beg for completion and the males comply." By now everyones eyes were wide. Bulma glared at Vegeta. Females beg uhh?well we'd just see tonight now won't we......"Good Vegeta, now who would like to go over the body parts....."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey Trunks, were are your parents?"  
  
"....They went to Gohan's school to teach some class."  
  
"Ohh, really?! COOL! Can we go? Come on, it'll be sooo fun!!"  
  
"Goten, you wanna go to school?"  
  
Goten smirked. "Not just to watch the class, but Videl will be there."  
  
"Goten."  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I taught you well."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
By the time Vegeta had gone over all the body parts that were important in....Sex, Gohan could have made a good compitition to a tomatoe.  
  
'Boy this is embarrasing.'  
  
Bulma looked up at the students trying to see who she should ask for the next question. She saw Videl who was yawning tirdly.  
  
'Perfect' "Videl"  
  
Videl shot up in her seat. 'Oh shit.'  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Can you tell me what abstinence is?"  
  
Videl blinked. That wasn't so bad. There must be a catch. "It's when you wait for sex until your married."  
  
Bulma smiled. "Do you believe in abstinence?"  
  
Videl blushed, it figured. She glanced at Gohan who was looking at her in curiosity. 'Damn it!'  
  
"Uhh..I guess I do..I mean I don't want to risk getting pregnant unless I'm married and ready to have a family."  
  
Vegeta snickered. 'At least she had waited, that Onna just couldn't wait.'  
  
Bulma frowned as she picked up on Vegeta's thoughts. 'Jackass.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Shut up Goten."  
  
Goten pouted, "But...I'm trying to hear...."  
  
Trunks humped. "Maybe if you stopped talking, and started listening you would here what was going on."  
  
Goten frowned but complied. "Do you believe in abstinenece?"  
  
Goten scratched his head and looked at Trunks. "What's abstenance?"  
  
"Abstinence." Trunks corrected and sweatdropped. "I don't know, maybe it's some kind of religion, but I thought mom said it was against the rules to talk about religion in class, so why is she doing it?"  
  
Goten shook his head. "I don't know, but maybe if you stopped talking we could here."  
  
Trunks' mouth was agape but he complied, just in time to here the end to Videl's reply.  
  
"-Risk getting pregnant unless I'm married and ready to have a family."  
  
"Baby?" Goten smiled, "Oh, I get it, she's talking about her and Gohan right Trunks?"  
  
Trunks shrugged. "I don't know but maybe if you-"  
  
"Are quiet we could here them better." Goten finished smirking something that was strikingly resembling to Vegeta's famouse look.  
  
Trunks smirked right back and they looked back towards the window.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Alright," Bulma smiled. "Good job Videl."  
  
She then smirked lightly. "Ok, now I'm going to ask the females in this class to file out in single order to classroom A5 for the rest of FLE with me." She then turned and headed out into the hallway.  
  
Videl looked at Gohan and sighed before standing up.  
  
She muttered a good luck to Gohan, and he muttered one back.  
  
As soon as the females left the room Vegeta looked straight at Gohan and smirked. "Now class I'm going to talk to you about mating." 


End file.
